Yo ho ho!

To commemorate the occasion International Talk Like a Pirate Day (ITLAPD) on September 19th, I’m introducing Barnacle here. He’s over at the shop. (ITLAPD is a parodic holiday invented in 1995 by John Baur and Mark Summers, of the United States, who proclaimed September 19 each year as the day when everyone in the world should talk like a pirate) Also I found a bit of pretty cheeky pirate lingo should ye be a little rusty in your anchor!

Barnacle5

Barnacle2

Barnacle1

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I’d love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How’d you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don’t work, as they often won’t)

They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.

You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?

Wanna shiver me timbers?

I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.

Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.

That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Let’s get together and haul some keel.

That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.

Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates

By popular demand …

10. What are YOU doing here?

9. Is that a belayin’ pin in yer britches, or are ye … (this one is never completed)

8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!

7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, “Cap’n Feathersword?”

6. That’s quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!

5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I’ve had a twenty percent decrease in me “lice ratio!”

4. I’ve crushed seventeen men’s skulls between me thighs!

3. C’mon, lad, shiver me timbers!

2. RAMMING SPEED!

…and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:

1. You. Pants Off. Now!

(I am definitely going to file this one away for good keeping!)

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About tinymatryoshka

artist, mom, fairytale lover
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